week 10 (March 4th -10th ) Strong Woman

From Amy Johnson Crow - March is Women's History Month, so what better way to start than with the prompt of "Strong Woman." What female in your family tree has shown remarkable strength (either physical or emotional)? Tell her story.

As soon as I saw this theme of "strong woman", I knew instantly who I had to use – my Mum! Barbara May Lackey nee Haylock, born 6th April 1949 and died 18th December 2004.

I found the quote to the left online and it so fits my Mum! So, I thought I would share it.

My Mum wasn’t strong in the sense of she could lift weights or anything physical but mentally and emotionally she was a “strong woman”.

From the age of 18^th months old she wore big thick glasses for poor eyesight. She was bullied at school because of her glasses and “buck teeth”. She didn’t always give up crying, she fought back against the bullies – 1 of them had long hair of which she wound round her hand and kept pulling it until the girl was crying, another of them, she threw their bike into the stream (and people wonder where I get my attitude and temper from!) They soon learnt to leave my Mum alone.

In May 1982, a few months after I was born, Barbara was diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent radiotherapy for it, although she was physically drained, she didn’t let it stop her, she carried on working at the post office, helped with reading and writing at school, looking after the home, helping with Brownies and Rainbows and raising 2 children. This was the 1^st of many rounds of cancer during her life. Each time it came back she would battle on and not be beaten by it.

In the early 1990’s she slipped on uneven footpath (like cartoon characters do on banana skins) and hurt her back and bottom badly, she had to have surgery and pins put in her lower spine to hold it together, she had to give up work due to it. But she still kept a happy attitude and did things.

In about 2000 she was involved in an accident whereby a carpark barrier hit her on the head and this caused her to become forgetful at times, it also caused Lymphedema (swelling in her arm). But again, she battled on and worked round it.

By 2004 Barbara had had cancer for 21years. The cancer came back with a vengeance and was in her skin and bone. In June of 2004 she was admitted to hospital in a coma. This was a very scary time. It was her Grandson (my eldest son Jarred) who brought out of it. I took him to the hospital despite the staff saying it wasn’t  good idea because of how ill she was. He sat on her bed holding her hand saying “my nana” over and over again. After about 15minutes my Mum opened her eyes and said “hello little man”. From this point on she came and went into unconscious states for the next 24hours.

She only semi-recovered from the coma and was in a bad way, however her strong fighting spirit remained, and on many occasions, she told God “I’m not ready to join the Angels and make wings”. (she was a non-religious lady). But by November 2004 she was given weeks to live. We did everything we could to keep her happy. 

Right up until the moment she died she stayed a “strong woman” and I am proud to call her my Mum. She went through so much but always came out fighting.

If I can be half the “strong woman” she was, she would be proud.